It's Been a While!

Wow where do I even begin? I just noticed that I haven't posted since July of 2010! I'm sure nothing short of everything has changed and happened since then! As the saying goes "Time Fly's when you are having fun!"
Lets see.. since July of last year:

Doug and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary in November. Thanks to a reminder from Facebook, I didn't forget it! (Bad wife award!)Doug went back to school for the last time! He registered for graduation for December 2011. I can't wait to have it all over with (probably not as much as him!)I am excited for Doug and for our family for the opportunities that his degree will open up.



Carson moved from the terrible 2's to the torturous (and talkative) 3's in December. He is the size of most 4 and 5 year old's in his daycare - he is a little over 3 1/2 foot now. He was moved from his toddler room at daycare to the 3 year old Preschool room. I was worried at first if he was ready and if he could handle the transition. He has done fantastic! Luckily a lot of friends made the transition right around the same time, so he was able to stay with a lot of the kids that he knows and likes to play with. He is really changing into his own little person.. with an attitude that goes on for miles. I think it's safe to say he is definitely just like his momma! He is really into reading books, singing and dancing. Check out You Tube or Facebook to see some of his dancing talents!
Keeping up with him and his constant energy has been a challange but it is also a ton of fun!






Since July of last year Brenden has almost completed the 6th grade and celebrated his 12th Birthday in September. He had an ice skating party with several of his friends with a Kansas City Royals theme. It is insane for me to think that he will be in Junior High this upcoming school year. It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in the parking lot sobbing after dropping him off for his first day of preschool! He is still a fantastic student and just an all around great kid. He tried out last summer for the Siouxland Stars, which is a traveling baseball team. On September 1, he was offered a spot on the roster. I have never been more excited for him! He loves baseball and he's pretty good at it. We love watching him play and watching him grow as a player. They have been practicing (mainly indoors) since February. His first games are this weekend. It is such a great experience for him and for us.

Not much has changed in my life. I am dreading September of this year. Brenden will be turning 13 and 5 days later I will be turning 30. It is just too much to deal with in one week for me! I am still working at the same place and for the most part I still enjoy it. I became a Mini-Van mom in December and shockingly I couldn't be happier about it. I guess thats maybe one of the signs of getting old!

Well, summer is just about over here in the Beer Household, so it seems fitting that I am just now getting around to telling you about it!
We have had a fantastic summer - full of family, friends and a ton of fun!
Brenden finished the 5Th grade toward the end of May. They were supposed to get out about a week before they actually did, due to the snow days they were forced to make up some time! He was VERY excited to be done with school - it seemed like the year drug on for all of us, so I can only imagine how he felt!
After practicing with a traveling baseball league for a few months, he made the choice to play only on the local league here. He decided that he wanted to have a summer that had more than JUST baseball in it and I can't say that I blame him. The local league that he played on was a lot of fun - they even ended up taking 2ND place in the league tournament. As always we enjoyed watching him play and cheering his team on!

Carson has been growing up right before my eyes! I can't even explain how much he has changed in the past 6 months. His speech has improved so much and his whole attitude changed with it. He is still a force to be reckoned with - I don't suppose that will ever change. He loves to dance and sing and comes home from daycare almost every day with a new song that he walks around singing. He is finally sleeping in a "big boy" bed - which is a twin - so far he has only fell out of it once! He is still getting taller and taller, soon he will be taller than both Brenden and I. I imagine it is quite the sight to see me trying to carry him around already!

Doug and I hosted the Beer family reunion out at the Ponca State Park in June. We were so happy that most everyone was able to make the trip and enjoy some time together. Several of the group went to a baseball game in Sioux City, fished, hiked, played board and card games, went swimming and hopefully just had a good time in general. We were hoping to be able to stay at the park with the family, but Carson had other ideas and made them quite clear the very first night. In all, it was a nice visit for everyone and we liked being able to show off one of our "local attractions"
Doug spent some of the summer (ok most of it) taking summer classes, trying to squeeze a few credit hours in anywhere he could. As expected, he still managed to keep his perfect GPA. I am very proud of his dedication! He did a little work for the US Census, basically until they ran out of work to do in this area. A few weeks ago he was offered 2 different jobs! After some discussion he is now employed by Verizon Wireless in Sioux City. We both think he will enjoy the job and do well at it considering he has a proven track record in sales. He is currently in training which takes him out of the area Monday-Friday for a few weeks. I am adjusting better than expected to being home with the boys on my own, hopefully it will continue to go smoothly.
The weather here, like many places, has been unbelievably hot! I am trying my hardest not to whine too much about it after the long miserable winter we had! We have had a ton of days with heat indexes above 100 degrees and temps in the mid to upper 90's. It is truly what I consider a true Nebraska summer! We have also had a LOT of rain, the corn is taller than I have ever seen it before!
Well.. that's our summer up to today. We still have a lot going on during the next few weeks before Brenden starts school, including; a visit from my little brother Dylan, a Royals/Yankees game and Nifty Fifty's celebration in Ponca. Hopefully I will remember to update as things continue to happen!

The Sun is Shining!

I could hardly believe my eyes when I woke up this morning and saw sunlight coming through the windows! It feels like it has been weeks since we have seen the sunlight around here. In fact the weatherman said last night that it has been 39 days since we have had a day that was above average temperatures!! It has been a long, cold, just plain BLAH winter. But for once today, I woke up and smiled instead of groaned! I am refusing to remind myself of the fact that the forecast for tomorrow is once again cold and snowy! For today, I am enjoying the walks to the post office that don't require me to bundle up!

Our lives have been somewhat quiet lately.. but as always things are picking back up! This afternoon Doug and I are going to check out a new daycare/development center for Carson to attend. Up until this point he has been going to a home based daycare.. which has worked well for us and was very cheap too. But now, as it is becoming more obvious that he is struggling with some of his learning skills, it has become important to us, to give him every opportunity to catch up and get ahead! He is currently seeing a speech therapist once a week, which seems to be helping a little. I am hoping this new daycare will help even more as it is far ore structured and "learning" centered. Plus they break the kids up into groups based on age for a majority of the day, so hopefully he will have fun interacting with kids his own age and make some friends too!

Tonight we have parent teacher conferences for Brenden. I have always seen them as a waste of time honestly. As much as I enjoy hearing how great, kind and smart Brenden is... I already know these things!!! :)

Brenden has been so busy lately. He is still competing on a tournament basketball team.. which is what this weekend will consist of for all of us! He has also started baseball practice. This year is his first year on a traveling team.. he is so excited and we are too! I am so glad he didn't get my athletic abilities!

Well I am off to enjoy the sun while it lasts!

3 months.. in 3 paragraphs or so!

As I was reading through my previous blogs, I realized that I had not posted in MONTHS! Overall, not a horrible thing.. but those months included Carson's Birthday, Christmas and Thanksgiving!! So it's time to update!!!

First was Thanksgiving.. which we spent at my mom and Gene's pigging out! I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am an adult when I realized that the best part of the holidays has everything to do with family and food!!!

Next was Carson's birthday! Can you believe that I have a 2 year old now? Time has flown by! He had a great birthday party.. with lots of family and friends! We lucked out on the weather finally, so it was safe travels for all! I was so excited to watch him enjoy his cake! Last year he panicked as soon as the frosting got stuck to his fingers. This year was a whole new story.. he could not get enough!
I also happen to know a very talented woman who makes adorable clothes for kids.. so Carson got his very own "Birthday Outfit" that proudly displayed his age!


And finally Christmas.. or should I say the BLIZZARD that canceled Christmas! The snow started falling 2 days before Christmas. The forecast was bad... they said over 20 inches by the time it was done! My husband the non-believer (when it comes to forecasts at least) laughed as I started to panic, but went along with the idea of moving our "Christmas Eve" to the 23rd. That night, my mom, Gene and my Grandma came over for dinner and gifts. The plan was for all of us to head to Mom's house on Christmas day for dinner and the whole family celebration. Instead we spent Christmas Day snowed in.. while I proceeded to lose my mind. It wasn't that I had somewhere I needed to be, just that I couldn't leave that drove me crazy! The forecast had been correct.. and maybe even a little low in predictions. I think in the end there was close to 26 inches of snow! Santa, being the trooper he is managed to still make to the house! Carson has no idea who the Jolly guy is but was quite excited to get so many new toys! Brenden also loved the day...playing in the snow, opening gifts and enjoying the down time at home!
Our plan (pre-blizzard) had been to drive to Chicago the morning after Christmas. Obviously that did not happen... the roads were actually still closed and drifted shut! We did manage to get out on Sunday afternoon - as soon as the roads were opened back up and made our way to Chicago. It was a slower than normal trip.. but we made it! While we were there we spent time with the whole Beer family, which is always a good time! We also went to the Shedd Aquarium, which has been my goal for several trips! If you know me you know I have a love for marine life.. so I was in heaven and could have spent forever there! They also have a great kids area that Carson couldn't get enough of! Thank you to Dave & Joyce for the fantastic gift.. it was a fantastic day!!!

Happy Birthday Lilly

A year ago we were dealing with the hardest things that we have ever dealt with. A year ago, we were trying to figure out how to say goodbye to a daughter that we had never met. A year ago, I felt lost, hopeless and desperate.

A year later and sometimes I feel like not much has changed. In a few short weeks it will be Lilly's birthday. What do I do? Do I celebrate, pretend that it isn't? Due to the weather, I have not been to her grave in quite a few months. Honestly, I am scared to go. At first it was so easy and I spent a lot of time there, talking to her. I think at that point I was still numb. I still have daily conversations with her, just not at the cemetary. I have a morning ritual on my way to work..my "Lilly time". I can only imagine what people think as they see me talking to myself. It may seem odd.. but it helps me to keep her close and to share my life with her since she cannot share her life with me.

The past few months I have become very frustrated with myself. I am a strong believer in so many causes and yet I do very little to support any cause. We all know I have strong opinions - but who am I to complain about the ways of the world if I do nothing to change things? This month I finally decided to get involved and in doing so also decided that my whole family would be too! I put together a family team and we are walking in the March for Babies at the end of April. I have always supported the March of Dimes by donating whenever I was asked.. but this time I am walking 4 miles and collecting donations so that I can make a bigger impact. I decided that this walk would be in Lilly's memory, a simple way to celebrate her short life and her birthday - a positive out of all of the negatives that I have been feeling. I have to send a big THANK YOU to all that donated to me and all that have said that they will be. It is so nice to remember what I strong support system I have in place, during both the high's and low's of life!

For those of you who haven't donated.. please visit and donate today! Every donation makes a difference!

October recap!

Wow.. October is really already over, it's insane how quickly it passed!
I would love to say that we have been busy and doing tons of fun things this month, but I would be lying!
Obviously the highlight of the month was Halloween.
We were lucky enough to get several pumpkins from Gene's garden this year. Brenden carved one a little too early in the month, so it had to make a trip to the trash can before Halloween night. He did a great job carving them and had a ton of fun doing it. As a typical boy, getting the "guts" out was his favorite part.

Brenden had decided that he was too cool to go Trick or Treating with his parents and little brother this year. Instead he went with some friends and their parents ( I guess they have cooler parents!) He was a cross between Jason and a serial killer I suppose. Honestly, he just found some things he liked and put them together and called it a costume. He was happy with the outcome, which is the only thing that matters.

Carson had his own ideas about Halloween, which included loving his costume but hating the very idea of trick or treating. He loves having gloves on and his costume had gloves, so he was in heaven. But when we took him out of the car to go visit people he promptly sat down in the street and refused to do anything more. Instead we visited great grandma house and Nana & Papa's.. making it a VERY quick outing! Hopefully next year he will care more about it!

Other than Halloween it's been fairly quiet around the house. Brenden is in his "downtime" between sports and is already going crazy, constantly insisting that he is bored. Although, he has not been bored enough to clean his room, no matter how many times I suggest it.
Carson is being stubborn and has very obviously hit the terrible two's. He is such a strong willed child and is not afraid to let you know that he is not happy when it comes to that! We bought him a toddler bed a few weeks ago so that he would have less opportunity to fall out and hurt himself. From the very second it was placed in his room he was angry. He wouldn't allow anyone to "make" the bed , and ripped every blanket off of it the second it was put on. He screamed and cried at the very sight of it. We thought he would get over it and sleep in it that night. Instead he has slept on the floor NEXT to the bed every night since then with his pile of blankets. I figure someday he will decided to give it a try but until then I guess the floor works for him!
Doug has been overwhelmed with school lately. He spent a week or two with a really bad tooth and minimal class time, which put him a little behind. And like most people, did not have fun playing "catch up". He took a heavy schedule this semester which is proving to be challenging. He spends most of his evenings and weekends downstairs working on homework. He has been really good about waiting until the boys go to bed so that he gets to spend as much time as possible with them. But usually the only quiet time WE get is after the boys go to bed.. so I will admit to missing that time with him!
I have been busy myself with work. We went from not having any projects with the possibility of even having to cut down hours, to being slammed with projects! I am working on 5 projects at once right now. It's nice to have lots to do but sometimes I would like to have a day that is filled with nothing! Ha... I guess that's why it's called work!
Well.. that's that for the month of October. I am SO excited for the holidays and all of the family gatherings!

First and foremost, let me apologize to anyone that I may have offended with my last post. It was not my intent to put anyone down for choices they have made in life, only to voice my concerns on how some choices have affected me personally. I love my family dearly.. ALL OF THEM. My point was only to voice my fears of the upcoming holidays and the rest of my life and the changes that may or may not take place.

Anyway...

Brenden's football season ended last weekend. The 5th grade team (his primary team) entered into the tournament with no wins.. so we weren't expecting much different. Wow.. were we wrong! They won their first game and took 3rd place. He was SO excited! It was so much fun to watch the whole team get fired up and actually play to the end!! He was so happy that we all failed to see how sick he was actually getting! By Sunday night he was feeling really bad.. high fever and coughing. We visited the doctor Tuesday fearing that he (like several others in the area) had H1N1. The test came back negative but he was diagnosed with bronchitis. Our main hope now is that it doesn't turn into pneumonia.
Carson is being Carson - wild and crazy! He is continuing to ramble on and on.. picking up a few new words here and there. His latest issue has been sleeping at night. Doug and I have have spent several nights sleeping on the floor of his room. He goes to bed just perfect but is waking up anywhere between midnight and 3am. The only way he will lay back down is to snuggle up with one of us. He seems to do it about 4 or 5 times a week.. which is more than enough to create tons of aches and pains for Doug and I!! We are in the process of trying to find a twin bed to put in his room. He is really getting too long for the toddler bed and with the way he moves around, is constantly falling out of bed! Plus an actual bed would give us somewhere to lay when we camp out in his room for the night!!
Doug and I took a trip to Sioux Falls yesterday to have his tooth pulled. The oral surgeon in this area wasn't able to get him in until December so Doug took charge and found someone who could do it much sooner. He has been in constant pain for about 2 weeks.. so we are both happy that he was able to get it out quicker. It was quite funny to see him after the extraction while he was still partially drugged up.. he was all riled up about the dentist being a Vikings fan! He even asked me if the dentist wrote on his face! Hopefully he will be feeling much better now!

I finally got my new tattoo. I suppose I should tell you why I say "finally". When we found out that Lilly was sick and would probably not survive, I started thinking about what I could do to keep her memory with me. As most of you know, I like tattoo's, up until last week I had 5. At the time of my pregnancy we didn't have a name picked out but after her birth we chose Lillian. Since then I have been wanting to get a Lilly tattoo but I have made excuse after excuse when it came to actually doing it. I suppose it was part of my grieving process.. I wasn't really ready to come to terms with a lot of it. The past month has been a tough one for me, but a good one at the same time. I have done a lot of grieving and some healing. Last weekend I finally decided that I was ready to get my tattoo in honor of my baby girl. I asked Doug to come with me in fear of having an emotional meltdown. I was actually quite shocked at how easy it was to get through. Now every time I look at it I am reminded of my beautiful Lilly and the mark she will forever have in our lives.

We are trying to get ready for the upcoming holidays early, so that we (ok..basically "I") can feel more prepared and less frantic. We have most of Carson's birthday and Christmas presents bought, and have started on Brenden's. I have been picking up little things here and there for others as I run across them. My goal is to have everything done by the first part of December! We are currently planning to take a trip to Chicago immediately after Christmas to be able to spend some time with Doug's family as well! I am hoping that the winter weather takes a break and allows that trip! It's always nice to be able to get everyone together!